Days 17 and 18

Yesterday was filled with non-JDate activities, so I'm a little behind in my blogging. Not much happened anyway. I exchanged email with Funny Guy and Bike Guy, and I did nothing about B. I talked with a friend about the guy she's dating, and she said because *he's* outgoing, it makes her more outgoing as well. A little lightbulb went on above my head, and I realized that the only thing I didn't really like about B. is that it took so much effort to draw him out. Two shy people together perhaps isn't a good match. Even though it did get better on the second date, it was still me being chipper, cheerful, chatty (the 3 C's of dating?) that made it work. And boy was I tired after that.

I decided to do a pile sort analysis on the 13 profiles of people who contacted me and I responded to them, and the people who I contacted, to see if I could identify any patterns in my own evaluation processes. I printed out each profile (they're about 3 pages each) and sorted the "pile" in different ways.

First sort:
Have I met them in person? n=2
Am I actively corresponding with them? n=2
Did they send me a "flirt" to which I responded but then didn't hear back from them? n=2
Have they not responded to an email I sent? n=7

This sort doesn't tell me much, other than that the people I like are not guaranteed to like me back.

Second sort: Age
28 n=2
29 n=2
30 n=1
31 n=2
32 n=1
33 n=2
36 n=2
37 n=1

Interesting; there isn't a normal distribution between the ends of the spectrum. Beyond that, I don't know what to make of this.

Third sort: Where did you grow up?
In this state n=8
Elsewhere n=5

Of the whole population, 8 people have lived outside this state even if they are from here originally.

I guess this makes sense. Where I currently live, people tend to come from large families with deep roots in this area. But, I know that I look for people who have lived elsewhere and come back, or who are from the places I'm from, because that gives us something in common.

Fourth sort: Height
6' or over n=5
Under 6' n=8

This criterion is not a dealbreaker for me; I was just curious. I wouldn't rule someone out on height alone, although I have had experiences where men add a couple of inches to their height on paper, and then it's shocking when you meet them in person and they don't even come up to your chin. My philosophy is, why lie about something that you can't hide?

Fifth sort: Body style
JDate gives you the opportunity to select from a few pre-defined categories to describe your body style.

Active/fit n=6
Average/medium build n=3
Firm & toned n=2
Stocky n=1
Lean/slender n=1

This is isn't a useful sort. I compared each person's body style to their height and weight (if provided), and couldn't conclude anything. Besides, I would classify myself as "active/fit" even if I weren't (but I am, in case you're wondering), because the other answer choices aren't as flattering. What's more important to me is how active someone is, because I know I want to be with someone who is interested in taking care of themselves and who likes to do a variety of physical activities.

Sixth sort: Activity level
Again JDate offers these pre-determined answer choices.
Very active n=5
Active n=7
Selected activities (?) n=1

So, someone who describes himself as "active" could be a "lean/slender" or a "stocky" or a "average/medium" or an "athletic/fit". So, ultimately, there is no objective way to rate a person, because the profiles are all subjectively written! Even though I kind of knew this, I think this analysis helps solidify my opinion. You really don't know someone based on their profile. Everyone puts forward their idealized self on their profile. You want to make yourself sound good, right? Even if your profile doesn't exactly match who you *really* are. And I know I do this too; what good would it do me to put on my profile something like "I tend to over analyze every little thing and obsess about the tiniest detail. Oh, and by the way, I will blog about this."

Seventh sort:
Is the picture more impressive than the writing in the profile? n=6
Is the writing more impressive than the picture in the profile? n=7

I guess I wanted to know this about myself. Am I the type who bases her choices on looks or on substance. I feel confident saying here that how a person writes and presents himself is ultimately more important than the photo. But, it surely helps to have an attractive picture.

It's been 2 days since I emailed that bunch of prospective matches, and I have only heard from Bike Guy, so as time goes on, I guess the odds that I'll hear from any of the others decreases exponentially. (I would love to hear why they didn't respond to me. In the interest of research, I'd like to know why they didn't like me. My picture not good enough? My writing too sarcastic? My requirements too stringent? It would be fascinating to know these things.) Which means I should throw the others out of my analysis, which greatly reduces my n. And I guess the whole point of doing JDate is to increase the n!