A day-by-day account of a single girl's attempt to find a real social life in a virtual world.

Friday, April 27, 2012

5 years later...

I was just thinking about this blog the other day... How much I enjoyed blogging, how I struggled with my own thoughts and emotions, and how long it has been! Well, just in case anyone out there is interested... Bike Guy and I have been together since the last time I blogged. We've had some great adventures traveling, eating, cooking, and biking. We had some hard times too, which I assume is all normal in a relationship. We had illnesses and deaths in our families, arguments over things that seem silly in hindsight, and ups and downs with stress and tensions. But we're both happy. I moved in with Bike Guy a little over a year ago and I love sharing the same space. We have no plans to get married or have kids in the immediate future, but never say never. We're still figuring things out on a daily basis and enjoying being together. So. There it is. I won't say it's a happy ending because we're still on the journey... Happy journey!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

A Year of JDating

One year ago, I went on a great date that started with coffee, went on a walk, and continued over sushi. I'm happy to say we're still dating, even though we're currently separated by 2400 miles for 3 months. We will see each other during this time, and I'm looking forward to many more dates with Bike Guy!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Blogworthy days

Yesterday was the first bike ride of the season. Almost. Bike Guy and I dusted off our bikes, ready to hit the road after a long winter's rest, even though the weather was a little chilly, about 50 degrees, and threatening rain.

We decided to bike over to a local bikeshop to get him a rear fender (in case it did rain, it would prevent wetness from being thrown up against his back or thrown back into another rider's face) and for me to test drive a road bike. (I currently have a used front-suspension Kona mountain bike; I used to have a road bike once upon a time but gave it up thinking I'd never bike on these roads around here, because the roads are terrible--they don't call it the Motor City for nothin'--but I'm already thinking of a multiple-day ride for next summer and vowed not to do one again on a mountain bike.) We achieved our goals at the bike shop, about 2 or 3 miles from my place, and then we mapped out a route about 10 miles downtown to a tasty lunch spot.

We made it another mile or two before Bike Guy's rear tire blew out, due to a massive piece of glass. We happened to be in front of a biker bar (the Harley kind) when this happened, and though the neighborhood wasn't great and I was worried the bikers wouldn't take well to our kind (bicyclists), the owner came out and volunteered a patch kit. We decided to have lunch before repairing the tire because I was hungry and borderline cranky, and took seats at the bar, which was only inhabited by two other patrons, who appeared to be regulars. The bartender informed us that the kitchen was currently closed, because they were preparing for a huge barbecue party that night. However, the bartender offered us his own ham sandwich, which was roughly the size of a human head, filled with thick slabs of meat and slathered in mayonnaise and mustard. We took him up on his offer, and purchased some potato chips, a beer (for Bike Guy) and a soda (for me) to wash it down. Best. Sandwich. Ever.

After lunch, Bike Guy patched his inner tube and tried to glue the hole in the tire shut. We decided to head the mile or so back to my place because his tire definitely wouldn't last a 20-mile roundtrip, but we barely made it 5 feet before it blew again, loudly. We then walked the bikes dejectedly back to my place, feeling frustrated that the first ride ended so badly, even though we got lucky with the lunch and the friendly bikers.

Later that afternoon, we drive to the bike shop to buy a replacement tire and some other supplies with the intent of trying our bike ride again the next day. We spent the evening sipping whiskey and playing an 80s-trivia board game. The game's activities included acting and singing songs from various years in that decade, so the amusement provided by the game was directly proportional to the amount of whiskey consumed. Bike Guy does a mean breakdancing worm, and my knowledge of 80s song titles and artists meant that we each won one game. Drunk and silly, we retired for the night.

Today brought us equally chilly and rainy weather, but we determined to reach our goal of brunch downtown. Bundling up with layers of spandex and fleece, we mapped a route and set out through some historic neighborhoods and un-trafficked roads, arriving in a little over an hour to a feast of stuffed french toast and shrimp-and-crab hash. We lingered over lunch before tooling around downtown a little and heading back. The weather improved throughout our trip, and we arrived home in sunny, high 50-degree weather.

Just thought I'd share a great weekend with all y'all.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Year End Update

Hi there. Long time no post. Just wanted to let you all know that things are going well here. Made it through a difficult time. Still having a great time with Bike Guy. Still unsure about how to blog about it. Start a new blog? Aim for anonymity? Keep up this blog though it isn't about JDate anymore? Anyway. I hope the new year brings you happiness online and off.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

...or is it?

The story isn't over yet. Thought I should let you know Bike Guy and I are dating again. It happened because he reached out for me when I pushed him away, and is giving me what I say I need, whether I need time together or time apart. I'm trying to figure out this relationship business as we go along, and I guess that's just what people do!

(He found this blog [hi there, Bike Guy!] through some diligent research, so as much as I'm glad that there are no secrets between us, I'm reminded there's no such thing as privacy on the internet, and I'm not sure whether I want to blog about my most random, meandering, nonsensical, anxiety-ridden innermost thoughts. That's what therapy's for.)

The next month is completely focused on a set of professional hurdles. My friends, Bike Guy included, have been so supportive, cooking me dinner and/or taking me out to dinner and/or keeping me company when I need to take breaks. But there's little time for mental introspection/blogging, so let's just call this a hiatus for now. I'll be back.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The End

Well. I've come to the end of this particular blog road. I broke up with Bike Guy yesterday. Here's what I think happened: I've been having anxiety about those major professional hurdles I mentioned earlier, and as part of the emotional crisis in dealing with those, a lot of other emotional issues were triggered. Including some issues with dating and relationships. So, I felt the need to end things with Bike Guy because I was unable to deal with being in a relationship. The only relationship I can handle right now is the one with my trained mental health professional.

Anyway, sorry to end on a down note. I can't even come up with some platitudes about how online dating works for many, even though I think it does. I guess I found out that I have to work on myself first before I can find someone, so at least I learned through my month of JDating.

Happy dating, all y'all.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Filling in a few blanks for the commenters

Just to recap:

I cancelled my JDate membership as planned, after one month (see Days 28 and 29). At the moment that the month was up, I was conflicted about SMcG, and was a little tired and frustrated with the process of meeting people. I had met 3 JDates in person, on top of SMcG, and I felt like I was a little overwhelmed with the pace of developing and maintaining these new connections. At that point, I thought I would just see everything to its natural conclusion: work out the friendship ith SMcG and just follow through on my scheduled dates with Funny Guy and Bike Guy. Luckily, all three turned out well: SMcG and I are still friends and activity buddies, Funny Guy and I have lunch on a semi-regular basis as friends, and I really like Bike Guy. What happened with Bike Guy is a little surprising, seeing as how right before we went on our first date I cancelled my membership. Which to me means that I was ready to give up JDating whether or not I was interested in either Funny Guy or Bike Guy romantically. If things don't work out with Bike Guy, I most likely won't join JDate again at least for a while, because I have a few serious things in front of me professionally that need to be taken care of. And not spending so much time dating, mating, and relating will definitely free me up to fully focus on those. But I'm hoping that 1) things work out with Bike Guy and 2) I'll be able to balance my personal and professional needs.

Ah, anxiety. I'd say it's like an old friend, because it's been around so long, but it's more like an arch-nemesis. Let all who peruse these posts understand that I am fully aware that I have Issues, and these Issues are being explored by me and a trained health professional. This anxiety is something I've been working on, off and on, for almost 4 years. I believe I am a much stronger and healthier person now, and I'm headed in the right direction. I'm in the process of figuring out what I want out of life (and out of relationships), learning how to be honest with myself, and becoming proud of the distance I've come.

What I've realized is important: there are no reasons to have anxiety about Bike Guy. I see no red flags regarding any of his words or actions, and he's given me no reason to doubt anything he's said or done.

Bike Guy is out of town this weekend and I'm out of town next weekend, but we have several dates planned for in-between, and many many text messages exchanged in the meantime.